Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Fucking MEMEs

Yeah, I got tagged too. With the 10 Things About You meme thingy. I used to have a 50 things about me sidebar area, but I got rid of that. So ok- here are ten, slight-more-obscure things about me:

1) I occasionally have nightmares about tornadoes. My town was hit severely when I was 5, and it was a very traumatic experience for me. So much so that every time a storm rolled through (in Iowa in the summer, there are plenty) I would freak out. I eventually got to where I love storms, but I still have bad dreams about seeing a tornado coming at me and not being able to move or scream.

2) I once shared the stage with Ana Gasteyer from SNL. It was in college (we went to the same university) and it was during a comedy improv show. It was just a brief moment, but a moment nonetheless.

3) I fainted the first time I inserted a dildo. Yup- I was about 23 and I had gone to an adult bookstore and purchased what I thought was a respectable sized, anatomically correct, veined thingy. I greased it up with vaseline, set it on the back of the closed toilet lid, and tried to squat down on it. I think it was a combination of pain, nervousness, anxiousness, and sexual desire but my vision fuzzed out and I woke up a few seconds later on the tile floor with a bump on my head and a dildo in my ass.

4) I was academically dishonest in a couple exams in college. I tried to bring notes into an art history exam and a calculus exam. Neither cribnotes helped me much.

5) Worst moment in high school was when I learned that I wasn't selected to be a drum major of our high school band. And then overhearing my "friends" talking about it and being overly glad that I wasn't chosen. I went home and cried-- I was 16.

6) Best moment in high school was when I got to understudy the romantic lead in the school play because the lead got mono. He ended up getting better and I resumed my old role-- but after the play the director pulled me aside and told me that he made a mistake in casting. He said he never initially thought I could pull off the lead, but that I was by far and away the better performer and he was sorry I didn't get the chance to show that to the audience.

7) One of my most embarassing moments was when I accidently left my mom's playgirl out on her bed after "finishing" using it. I got a phone call and forgot to put it away. She found it out when she got home and asked me about it. Whoops.

8) The first time I came I was 15 and watching saturday morning cartoons (Superfriends). It surprised me and I started freaking out hoping that I had the chance to clean it up before my mom and dad woke up and came out to the living room.

9) I used to refuse to use any bathroom that wasn't the one in my house when I was growing up. During all of gradeschool, I never went to the boys bathroom. I held it all day until I could get home. This sometimes made walking home from school difficult.

10) I secretly try to touch the artwork in museums. I love to sneak a touch of a sculpture or exhibit. My goal one day is to touch the paint on a Van Gogh.

8 Comments:

At 9:20 AM, Anonymous Jim said...

I cried too when I wasn't chosen for Drum Major.

It sucked. http://

 
At 9:32 AM, Blogger Y | O | Y said...

1. I still get wiggy when I feel things shake like it is going to be an earthquake. I lived in CA for 20 years.

5. Sometimes friends can be the cruelest. Sorry that happened to you.

9. Me too. The "bad boys" hung out in the bathrooms smoking and pussy boys like me had their heads put in the toilets.

These are some good ideas for future posts!

 
At 1:03 PM, Blogger cola boy said...

2. I saw Ana Gaystayer just the other day watching Reefer Madness The Musical. She was great.

8. Which character finally did it for you while watching the Super Friends?

 
At 1:51 PM, Blogger cb said...

1) LOVE the movie reefer madness- especially Ana's number where she gets off "the stuff" and kills a bit.

2) I'd like to think it was Aquaman- but it was probably Zan and Jana (I was always bored with the wondertwins so I might have jacked off)

 
At 3:32 PM, Anonymous RG said...

8. For me it was always Johnny Quest - Race Bannon - Yum.

 
At 3:41 PM, Blogger Kevin said...

I don't have a Van Gogh but you can touch my Picasso anytime.

 
At 4:49 PM, Blogger Donnie said...

This was a cool meme....not just one of the "run of the mill" ones. I loved all of your choices. :)

 
At 3:05 PM, Blogger Gay Canuck in the Capital said...

you fainted?? I'm not sure where to start.

 

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