Monday, March 26, 2007

Dilemma

So, my dates (yes plurual) went well this weekend. We got together both Friday and Saturday night and had fun both nights. Saturday was much more low-key than Friday, but we still went out for sushi and then went to my place to watch a movie.

He's super nice, has a great job, great blue eyes, great body, great dog, etc. Things flowed very easily when we were together- conversation was easy, sitting on a couch was easy, lying in bed was easy...

I think we like the same type movies, both drink coffee (although he is a fan of starbucks), both like to eat the same types of food (sushi, thai, indian, pizza, snacks, etc), both like the same type of sex (I think).

Christ, he even knows and loves Drum and Bugle Corps!

BUT...

There are some subtle differences in our lifestyles and I'm trying to wrap my head around them.

He is definitely more of a party person. I mean, I'm outgoing and love occasionial parties and relish being the center of attention at a cocktail party, but he has a strong group of friends that he hangs with and they seem to be a party crowd. Drinking, carousing, going to bars, hanging out in public, having fun, etc.

I am decidedly NOT a drinker, or really a goer-outer. I think I proved that while trying to match him on our first date, and I ended up sicker than a dog. Even now, the thought of more alcohol turns my stomach a bit. And then we went out for a beer on Saturday night and I had to smile my way through about 1/3 of a beer before having him finish it for me.

Don't get me wrong, alcohol is cool and I do love beer and drink it occasionally. But I'm about a three beer guy-- three beers a month.

Listening to his stories and to hear him talk about the fun he has with his friends, I don't think I would fit in well if I was ever introduced to them. I would be able to be jokey and fun, but I wouldn't be able to drink with them. I would be the designated driver always. And you know how much fun that is when everyone has a buzz and finds the same shit funny, and then there you are on the outside looking in.

I think we also have different free-time ideas. He rides his bike for exercise, and I would love to ride my bike more often, so that's cool. But he is also a video game person... and I'm more of a playing music or reading person.

These are all things that give me pause, and make me think too much. I know I'm looking WAY to far ahead, but its hard not to when you've been alone 37 and a half years. How do you not ponder the future? Do I introduce this person to my friends? My family? Is this workable?

Or is this me being desperate not to be alone again?

5 Comments:

At 11:26 AM, Blogger Gay Canuck in the Capital said...

I think the key is to try and get out of your head and think it and try to feel it. You will know if it feels right. I also think two dates is way too early to worry about some of this stuff. I had a total drinker bf for three years and I never drank once. It was actually sometimes a good way to establish independence and differences in the relationship. Just wait and see and don't think yourself out of it.

 
At 3:44 PM, Anonymous Jim said...

Take a breath. Relax. Just have fun. Not that I am the king of relationship advice, but just have a good time. I am the queen of wondering, "Where is this going? Am I wasting my time?" But had I just enjoyed the moment, I would have been better off. It's good that you have different interests - if you did the exact same thing, it would be boring.

And keep the updates coming. Your blog has moved up to my number one blog to read.

Jim

P.S. Does he know about your blog and if so is he reading this?

 
At 3:55 PM, Anonymous Jim said...

Hey - I just realized that I have never really introduced myself. Do you have a generic e-mail address that I can send a "Hey I really think you are fantastic" e-mail to?

Or is that too forward?

Jim

 
At 4:08 PM, Blogger BRETTCAJUN said...

You can't instantly become "a barfly". You have to work up your stamina and stomach to be a barfly. You don't have to drink to "fit in". Just smile and be pleasant to be around. If you have trouble staying awake... drink sugar free red bulls. Having buds to hang out with and socialize is fun.

 
At 4:57 PM, Blogger cb said...

Jim, I would gladly send you an email, but it looks like i have to log onto your site or something in order to drop you a line. Bizarre.

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home