Cell Phone Wars.

I am wicked pissed at my Cell Network.

I am a "Suncom" member. What's "Suncom" you say? Well, you wouldn't know unless you lived in one of four states or puerto rico, evidently. I think its just a southern regional thing. I used to be on AT&T wireless, which was fine. Then for a nanosecond I was with Cingular... but then that got sold to Suncom.

And here I am.

The above picture is of my cell phone model. Its a Nokia 6170 stainless steel beauty, roughly 1" x 4" x 1.5" when closed up. It weighs something like 2 pounds and takes on the dimensions of the first motorola phone when opened fully. The damn thing is built to survive armaggedon. After the holocaust, the roaches will be using MY phone to call each other.

So a few months ago I had to update my cell plan in order to save a bit of money. Naturally when you do this, you have to sign up for a 2 year agreement. Fine. But they never gave me that "since you are signing up for 2 years you can get a new phone" deal. My current phone was new to me sometime in 2005 although it appears to come from the 80's. I want a new phone, so I called Suncom.

They tell me I'm not eligible for a phone upgrade until April 2008. WHAAAA?? I've already had this behemoth for a year and a half! They finally admitted screwing up by applying my changed plan date to my phone. Then we got to chatting:

CB: On your website, I saw an offer for a 49$ Danger Hiptop? Can I order one of those?

Suncom: That offer is only for new subscribers, sir.

CB: But, since I changed my service and signed a 2 year thingy, shouldn't I have been eligible for a phone upgrade at that time?

Suncom: No. Not for this offer.

CB: So, do you have ANY deals for the people that haven't had a phone upgrade in almost 2 years and that you shafted by not giving an upgrade to with his latest service plan?

Suncom: No, I'm afraid not. You have to have service for 21 months before you are eligible for a phone upgrade.

CB: So let me get this straight. I've been a customer dating all the way back to when it was AT&T wireless, had only two phones ever, signed up for another 2 year stint, didn't get a new phone and I still can't get an upgraded phone for another year?

Suncom: Well, you could always pay retail price for a new phone, sir.

CB: So whats retail on the Danger hiptop?

Suncom: $299.

CB: You've been most helpful.

Click.




So I've decided that they fucked with the wrong guy, and I'll simply take the hit when I cancel their service and switch to Cingular so I can get the new iPhone. I predict their business is going to go WAY down, as people switch to Cingular, and I'll be more than happy to contribute.