Dear Abbey...

I have a friend who's been on an emotional rollercoaster as of late. For the sake of anonymity we'll call him "Curt".

Curt has been dissatisfied in his current job for quite some time. He hates it in fact, and complains about it incessantly to anyone who will listen... and even to those who don't want to listen. (Honestly, Curt, you're a bit of a broken record).

Its been a long, dark tunnel for Curt. But Lo! A light appears! A recruiter calls him and has an excellent opportunity in a company in a large Midwestern city. Curt was very excited by this news, because when he isn't dissing his job, he's talking about his desire to move to the Midwest. Curt does his homework and hopes for an interview.

Within mere days, the recruiter calls him and says the company wants to phone interview him... the next day ( a friday). Curt was a good boy and is already prepped so that isn't a problem. The interview goes well and lasts roughly an hour, which is a long time for a phone interview.

The following Monday, the recruiter calls again and says that the company would like to do another phone interview with a different manager and could Curt be available that evening? Indeed Curt could. This phone interview goes as well as the first and lasts another hour.

The next afternoon (now Tuesday) Curt gets yet another call from the recruiter who informs him that the company wants to fly him up for an interview. And they want him to come up that Thursday evening for a Friday interview. Curt's head is swimming as everything is happening so rapidly. But of course he agrees and the flight arrangements are made. Curt arranged the time off from work, and everything was set in motion.

The interview on Friday is scheduled to last between 3.5 and 4 hours... it ends up lasting six. Curt interviews with everyone and their brother at this company and feels as if the day went very well. At the end of the day he's exhausted, but happy- and also pretty excited by the opportunity at this company. He dutifully called the recruiter and goes through the debrief. Things sound very positive at this point and Curt says he's 95% confident that he'll receive a job offer (and would frankly be mystified if he didn't receive one).

The weekend passes uneventfully, and then Monday rolls around. Sure enough, the recruiter calls and asks Curt for his negotiation terms with regard to the usual stuff (salary, vacation, relocation expenses, etc). Because Curt is anxious to get to this area of the country, he makes his terms fairly minimal. He adjusted his current salary only to cover the cost of living increase, and asked for the company to pay for moving his things. The recruiter took these terms to the company.

And then Curt waited.

Tuesday Curt gets a call from the recruiter. The company may be able to meet some of the salary requirements, but not vacation requirements, and has basically rejected the relocation terms. Instead they countered by offering only a very small amount of cash to help with relocation expenses.

Curt is kind of stunned and hurt at this point. The company knew he lived in a house out East. They had to have realized that this would mean some moving expenses would be involved.

The recruiter asks Curt again what he needs from the company in order to make this deal go through. Could the recruiter chip in some assistance in order to seal the deal? Things like that. Some new negotiation levels were choses (salary about the same, but a minimum amount of money for relocation assistance was requested). The new levels would now mean that Curt would most likely have to pay for some of the move out of his own pocket. AND he would probably have to sell off quite a few of his things. The recruiter said he would take this back to the company.

And then Curt waited.

Wednesday passes with no word from the recruiter or the company. Curt feels that this is not a good sign given the speed at which everything has moved to date. Plus he's been in constant contact with the recruiter ever since the first interview was scheduled.

Curt's emotions have run the gamut of being anxious to hear news, sad that the company said no because of a couple thousand dollars, angry and resentful that he's come this far in the process only to run into a buzzsaw involving relocation which the company knew was part of the situation. He is also feeling a lot of self-doubt because he feels if the company really wanted him, then relocation would not be an obstacle. He thinks maybe the comany only 'sorta' wants him and could just as easily find someone else. And he's also started asking himself the question: if this company is so strapped for cash, then does he want to work there in the first place?

Curt has now basically resigned himself to the fact that he will not be getting the job and he's trying to work through his feelings on this. He is also struggling with what he should do if after all of this the company does come through with an offer he can live with?

Abbey, any advise for my friend Curt on this matter?