Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Pride and Decadence

I am freshly returned from another weekend of sun and debauchery at 'The River's Edge' in Georgia. The R.E., as you may recall from a previous post, is a clothing optional, mostly gay campground in northeastern Georgia.

Three things about this weekend:

1) I had a great time and am now darker than any caucasian has the right to be
2) I fell in love (okay... lust)
3) I'm now more depressed than ever

I'll first gloss over some of the basics so you get some background.

I rode down with T&T (a couple that I met down there last time, who live in Charlotte). No we don't have sex, we are just friends. They lent me a tent and we had a great time hanging out together. Plus they ran interference for me with the love of my life/weekend. There's a story involving T1 in a minute...

The weekend was full of free food, free alcohol, parties, sun, volleyball, drinking, flirting, music, dancing, etc. There was a free cookout every afternoon at 4 pm. One amazing guy provided free mixed drinks to all the people at the pool all day saturday. There was a DJ poolside all three days. The parties have free mixed drinks. It only rained for 20 minutes on Sunday, and the rest of the weekend was very nice.

So- on to the love connection.

Friday night I got wasted. Evidently the free mixed drink at the party contained everclear. Eww. I puked. But before I did, I was stumbling back to my tent when I bumped into a very VERY hot man. Or at least what I think is hot. He was about 5'9", shoulders for days, ARMS for days, thick fur on his chest, stocky not sculpted, shaved head, goatee, legs like tree trunks, etc.

I stopped for a bit of chit chat with him, where I 'think' I basically propositioned him. As I said before, I was wasted. He declined because he was heading to bed. I ended with, "I hope to see more of you tomorrow".

Saturday morning was evil. I was hung over and all the food and drink (coke, water, etc) was in T&T's cabin. I had nothing except a vile taste in my mouth and a headache to beat the band.

I was up at 8:30 am or so, and decided to shower, then head to the pool to relax, read, and cure my aching head. I'm at the pool at 9- and I plop delicately down into a poolside lounge chair.

I eventually look up. And who should be sitting with a group of three men, in a lounge chair diRECTly across from me?


Mr. Gorgeous from the night before.

I'm alternating between embarassment and intrigue. He's got sunglasses on. I have sunglasses on. I keep looking over to where he's sitting, and I think he keeps looking back. With the sunglasses and my poor vision, its really hard to tell.

It was very hard for me to concentrate on my book.

Eventually T&T get up and I'm able to get a diet coke and water and a donut so help speed my hangover recovery. Once we are all at the pool, I point out the object of my desire to them. They are in 100% agreement that I have directed my lust 'wisely'.

But then they get disgruntled with me because I won't talk to him. He is in a group, and I just can't find an approach. YES, I'm an infant when it comes to this shit. I'm like a 12 year old girl with a crush; its all so upsetting.

T1 decides to take matters into his own hands. He knows one of the guys sitting with Mr. Hunky and so goes over to chat. During which time, I see them all talking, and then looking over and talking some more.

This is embarassing! The only thing missing is for one of them to stand up and point directly at me. Now remember, the pool is chockers full of men at this point, so anyone can be witness to my humiliation.

I stay calm and start chatting with a guy next to me. His name is Rick, and he and his partner have a permanent site at the place. I met them last time. They were all into Kev-Kev and not me... but they are still nice.

Rick and I are still chatting when I see Hunky get up and start walking around the pool toward us. I'm now ready to kill T1 for his intervention. I can see T1 and Hunky's friend watching the whole thing from across the pool. I want to die.

Then the best part. Hunky walks up.....

... and starts talking to Rick.

I'm serious. But here's the kicker. Hunky's opening line is, "Hey, I really like your buddhist prayer wheel tattoo."

Rick does not have a buddhist tattoo. I HAVE THE FUCKING TATTOO! Rick is semi-befuddled as he has a university of kentucky tattoo... but he thinks that perhaps its his necklace to which Hunky refers.

At this point I lean over my chair and look at T1 and Hunky's friend. Their jaws are completely open. I see them both mouth the words "WRONG ONE!" T1 is shaking his head. I point at T1, and then give the very slow, thumb-drag-across-the-neck-to-symbolize-his-impending-death gesture.

I really did.

And then as I see Hunky and Rick fumbling along, I decide to help if I can. I look up and say, "I think your friends sent you over to talk to me."

I got no response. Perhaps they didn't hear.

Hunk leaves, and T1 returns. He sits on my chair and is in complete disbelief about what just transpired. He can NOT fathom how Hunky got the wrong guy. Especially because (according to T1) Hunky not only remembered me from last night, but thought I was very cute and had been wanting to talk to me all day because we had been eyeing each other at the pool since before breakfast!

At this point I was ready to throw in the towel, but I was also past the lust of no return. As was everyone else at the pool. Evidently my hunk had EVERYONE in a dither, especially when he decided to shuck his drawers at the pool. (Can I say 'huge'?) I was being cock-blocked at every turn by Mr. Hunky's new suitors.

But CB waits in line for NO man. They wait for me, dammit.

Eventually he strolled close to my area again, and it was time for Ursula to take matters into her own tentacles.

I stopped him, introduced myself, and said, "I think I made an inappropriate pass at you last night, didn't I?" He just laughed and said it was in no way inappropriate. It was then that I told him that I thought he was defintely one sexy man and that I'd been noticing him all day. (Yes, I'm that subtle).

He surprised me by telling me that he thought I was VERY cute, loved my smile, and that he had been watching my ass get in and out of the pool all day, and that he had been wanting to talk to me for some time.


So, I unzip my fly a bit further, and tell him that I'm glad he put his shorts back on because him walking around nekkid was absolutely wrecking me. THEN I basically said I'd love to get some personal time with him this weekend, whenever he wanted.

He said, "Its a deal".

The rest of Saturday I was basically cock-blocked 100% by a guy named Tim who would NOT leave Mark (Mr. Hunky's name) alone. T1 and T2 wanted to call in an air strike against him. But I knew that Mark would respond to my more subtle approach. Give space, with just some occasional reinforcement chatting.

Nothing happened Saturday night. I saw Mark leave with two guys from the party (one was that Tim), and that depressed me to no end. So I left. T1 and T2 told me later that he came back shortly and that Mark didn't do anything with them.

Sunday rolls around and I'm back at the pool early (no hangover, just depression). But then in comes Mark. He sees me and walks right up to my chair and sits down. We start talking. And for once its just us-- no interruptions. I have him all to myself.

He's not only very handsome, he's also very nice as it turns out, the fucker! How DARE he be nice and not a bit slut and friendly and everything? Geez! Marks' from tennessee and has a good job and has a charming southern accent as thick as syrup. We talk about my book, our jobs, exes, Tennesee, houses, landscaping, everything. He touched me a lot during our conversation and its really nice. But then along come Tim again, and sits right down with us.

Oh no. This is NOT happening again.

Long story longer, I finally chatted with Mark alone for about two minutes at the pool and pulled out the big guns. I told him that every time I saw him I just wanted to make out with him and that it was killing me that we couldn't find any alone time.

Then I did the 'stare' into his eyes. Added in the wistful, half smile, shook my head, and started to walk away. Then I added in a couple backwards glances, downcast eyes with big smiles (coy), and kept walking.

As I said, I don't wait in line.

We cross paths a few more times during the day. Each time he calls me handsome and gives me a touch here or there. Later that afternoon, I'm at the point of bursting so I find Mark, and all i said was, "do you have any free time now?"

He gave me a knowing look, and wandered from the pool area up toward his camper. He looked back to make sure I was following. I followed a 'trying to be discreet but everyone with eyes probably knew what was happening' minute later.

We met on the road, walked to my tent, and went inside for about half an hour.

It was very...



I saw him again Sunday night at one of the parties. He was Mr. Popular again and I just couldn't compete. He left rather early (with Tim again) and I was left to my depression.

I did find Mark on Monday morning, and I got his phone number, business card, and email. I gave him all my contact info as well. We talked about Sunday night and how I wished he had returned to the party. Evidently he left because his shoulder was bothering him. He ended up falling asleep for a couple hours. When he woke up, he just deciding to go back to sleep instead.

Then I got a brief, goodbye makeout session.

But dammit- i wanted more!

And true to form, I now find myself alone again after a holiday weekend, wishing that I actually had someone I could kiss whenever I wanted. Someone like Mark.

Yes, I know it was a weekend of lust and probably meant nothing to him. How could it, after all? I'm a random, average guy from North Carolina. He's a Grade A slab of beef who lives in Tennessee. And yeah, he probably has some flaws somewhere, right? And now I get to play my favorite game of waiting around for Mark never to call or email.

But I do miss the kissing part so very much.

Fucking holidays. Literally.


At 10:16 AM, Blogger Six Shooter said...


I hear ya.

At 2:24 PM, Blogger Ms Bees Knees said...

OMG!!! you are *such* a 12-year-old girl ;) at least you got some. and baby, he obviously found you saucy enough to hook up with. you still got it. although, if it were me, i'd get straight crunked up and wreck that bitch tim. i'm just saying, bees don't play.

At 8:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very nice! I found a place where you can
make some nice extra cash secret shopping. Just go to the site below
to see what's available in your area.
I made over $900 last month having fun!
make extra money

At 3:42 PM, Blogger cb said...


Did my post have ANYTHING to do with secret shopping? I don't even like shopping for myself let alone for others!


At 3:42 PM, Blogger cb said...


Did my post have ANYTHING to do with secret shopping? I don't even like shopping for myself let alone for others!


At 3:13 PM, Anonymous Mark said...

Hey man. This is Mark from the River's Edge. No not your crush, but I also have a permanent site. #10. I have been reading your blog and got very excited to see you have been to the camp. I would love to meet you. My email is glrx7mes@aol.com.


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home