Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The Metrosexuality of NASCAR


When did NASCAR become so metrosexual, you ask? Well I think all signs point to Jeff Gordon's meteoric rise to racing stardom.

And if you ask me, it was about time too, as NASCAR was pretty much the last holdout against the metrosexual invasion. I know racing is all macho, but Indy and Grand Prix racing had been M.S. for years. So much so, in fact, that they now have had to go 'cross sexual' and import a woman to boost their ratings.

Now I know NASCAR is not ready for women drivers. Its far too sexist for that. But look at other bastions of manhood and how they have 'evolved'. Football has gone metrosexual: from the likes of Larry Czonka to those of Tom Brady and Adam Vinatieri. Baseball has gone metrosexual: from Catfish Hunter to Mike Piazza. Basketball has... well, basketball had Dennis Rodman. And Christian Laettner. And Wally Szczerbiak!! Enough said.

Sure NASCAR has always been redneck as all get-up. But what a brilliant decision by the NASCAR powers-that-be to skew the racing community toward metrosexualness. Just look at how the popularity of NASCAR in America has skyrocketed in the last few years! Just a coincidence? I think not.



Pretty sells.

Pretty NASCAR drivers are more marketable. Pretty drivers will draw in women viewers. You get the women- the men follow. And so does the money.

And if you are very lucky, you get some gay viewers with large disposable incomes to watch as well. All you have to do is a little math: one very cute driver + one messy divorce + one 'is he or isn't he' rumor = Big gay following. All NASCAR has to do is stir the pot a little (see top picture again!)

NASCAR made the smart choice in going metrosexual, and it is minting money for everyone concerned. I know it must really chap the asses of some of the old school NASCAR fans, but I'm sorry to report the old days are gone. Goodbye Richard Petty (ewwww!). Hello Jimmy Johnson (mmmmmm!).

Oh, and Kasey Kahne if you are reading this- congratulations on your victory in the Coca-Cola 600! And call me sometime!

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