Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Rules of Dating

Over the years, I've honed a short list of dating do's and don'ts. I think it would be a crime if I didn't share my wisdom. Therefore, without further ado... the rules!


1) Do not try to date out of your level. If you are a 7, stick with 6's or 8's. You can go as high as an 8.5, but you better be bringing something else to the table (i.e. money, fame, a 10 inch penis, etc) or you could be dumped. And you can go to a 5.5- but you may get wanderlust over time.

Caveat: if you are buttfucking RICH, you can easily date above your level, as long as you realize that they are just interested in the size of your wallet.

2) Don't date anyone with more baggage than you have. Or WORSE baggage than you have. Everyone has relationship baggage, but its best if its kept to carry-on size. Its less annoying that way and stows easily. Also, its too difficult to be a couple if you have Louis Vuitton and the other guy is dragging around Sampsonite.

3) Do not get involved with or try to maintain a long distance relationship. Unless there is a definite short term plan to turn the long distance thing into a short distance thing. Distance makes the heart go wander. Its sad, but true.

4) Never (under any circumstances) break in a virgin. I know someone's got to do it, just make sure that its someone ESLE. You really don't need the whole 'sorority girl following you around for 6 months after you use it' syndrome.

5) Its best to avoid dating someone out of your socio-economic strata. Things work best if you make close to the same amount of money a year. The larger the difference in income, the more potential for money issues to creep in. Unless you are happy being a kept boy or a sugar daddy. Then more power to you.


At 8:38 AM, Blogger Six Shooter said...

Hmmm, nice topic. Sounds familiar.

At 3:52 PM, Blogger Blobby said...

Rules. Schmules!

While dating someone rich clearly can have its questionable motives, the others are a little too nebulous for me.

and i'd be hard pressed to call #4 "dating". : ) While I was grateful to the guy who 'broke me in', I never confused love w/sex.

At 12:02 AM, Blogger kevin said...

Hi cb,
I just read your question on Kelly's site re: your favourite holiday. Im pleased you liked NZ. Did you visit the North or south island?

Anyways, you are always welcome to pay another visit here.

By the way, i like your posting today re: dating. I think i agree with most except the breaking in of a virgin. If he doesnt know your name or number and if you cover your head to disguise yourself you might get away without being stalked.

Cheers, Kev in New Zealand.

At 9:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen to number three, brotha! Never, ever again. Of course I said that before my last long-distance relationship. But I really mean it this time. Really.

At 6:10 PM, Blogger Ms Bees Knees said...

but what about love??? oops! sorry... my vagina makes me say things like that. i can't help it.


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